[ To Express, To Reflect, To Give Back ]

Writing one blog at a time

Writing a blog should be about expressing my opinion in an authentic voice – initiating a conversation with myself and of course, readers. It is not about finding the right topic or spending twice the time to “edit” the writing or censoring the thoughts before they show up on screen.

OK – I think I understand.

But the laziness comes from different directions. Having no readership is no incentive to anyone, though it shouldn’t stop me from writing. We all start from zero. But that is beside the point, I do seem to have some readership already, I have to presume they are real people and not search engine crawlers.

Or does it matter? See how I find excuses?

The habit of not following through on the ideas is possibly due to fear of imperfection. Perhaps, I have lost faith in my own capacity to form sincere opinions – let alone express them in writing – forget being able to write perfectly. I seem to have this unwritten expectation that what I write should of highest quality. Truth is I need to acknowledge that I am just another one of the millions writing through blogs and that I should simply write for myself and for the love of writing.

The biggest negative is, interestingly, the insatiable curiosity to read and read and…read, anytime, regarding any topic that catches my attention at the moment. iPhone and Google has only made it worse. I search and read about things so far and wide that if Google were to profile my searches, they could classify it as either ‘mindless’ or ‘cosmic’! Of course, this doesn’t help a bit because I seem to trade the time I could be writing to reading one more thing. Much of the reading is helping expand my awareness, which in itself won’t be of much use – or is it?

On the other hand, I do have a burning desire to write. This is the nutty part of this whole struggle. The desire is at a point where it’s equally pushing down on my procrastinator and mental naysayer – but unsuccessful. Ideas run through my mind all the time on what I could write about. It is as if I sit in imagination to write and hit a block and give up. The imagination reassures that I don’t need to waste time in real. Even if I end up writing the full blog in my imagination, it somehow seems to extend beyond that time frame to indicate the blog isn’t that great a writing. Another reassurance to go do something else – may be read about inability to write a blog or something!

In the end, I get it. This is a battle with my own psyche. Nothing will help unless I let desire to write raise up. No amount of reading matters, unless I let a few words down the hand into this laptop – to make up one blog at a time.

The silly part is this is my 350th post!

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