I am afraid I am losing my “Identity” as my Thamizh writing skills have deteriorated badly in the last decade. I was trying to write something yesterday but was shocked when I paused wondering which ‘ra’ to use for that word ‘ninaikkiren’. Though I figured it out shortly after that moment of surprise, I realize my Thamizh language instincts is draining badly. With that I am losing a part of my original identify; how can I be proud of claiming Thamizh as my native language if I have to really ‘think’ about the exact letters before writing? God damn it, this is naaaa goooo at all.
Ok, Ok, its alright, atleast I can write well in english. Wait a second…I cannot say that to myself? The truth is my English is not at its best either( I better not call this as my best!). At least I am reading, writing, and conversing a lot in English towards improving it(being in America, whether I like it or not, helps with that), but my beloved Thamizh is losing attention! For my own sanity I should be doing something about this.
Perhaps it was a fault of mine as I never cultured interest in any form of Thamizh literature outside of school curriculam. To help with that, everything about India and Tamilnadu is available in English, so I fell into the obvious trap. The only solace is I am not as bad as some of my friends who suck big time even to read Thamizh fluently, I cannot imagine what their Thamizh writing skills would be.
Thanks to the world of tamil blogs I am recouping my love for Thamizh. Sometimes I envy them so much for being not just creative but also for being a motivation for others to think creatively. I am sure they are also reinventing themselves with this new medium of blogs.
And for me, still miles to go before I reap the full Thamizh or English (one is better than none!) in me.
